From the times of old, The kingdom of love suffereth emotional
violence and only sharp babes takes it by force. A new marriage culture
seems to be taking place in Nigeria. It has been discovered that younger
women preferred marrying older men who are advanced enough to be their fathers and this virus is catching on fast.
Nigerian
old men are living proof that it is never too late to find love. When
the late Owelle of Onitsha and first President of the Federal Republic
of Nigeria, Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe, in his late ages declared his intention
to then marry his youngest wife, Uche, a member of the renowned Afikpo
traditional dance named ‘Nkwa Nwite’ which entertained him when he
visited Afikpo, Nigerians cried blue. Reason was because of the age
difference.Zik was then in his 70s while Uche was barely 16 years. The
marriage took place and today, the rest they say is history.
.
In
1989, it was publicized that Bianca Odumegwu-Ojukwu was dating the
late former Biafran Head of State and Ikemba of Nnewi Chukwuemeka
Odumegwu Ojukwu, a political associate of her father. Ojukwu who was
alleged to be over thirty years her age later married her. By early
1990s, Bianca Onoh, became Bianca Odumegwu-Ojukwu.
.
Not
done, Shade married business mogul Okoya Thomas when she was 18 years
in 2002. Later, there were reports that ex- beauty queen; Susan Hart is
‘reportedly’ married to Chief Sunny Kuku.
.
72-year-old
Nigerian billionaire, Emmanuel Iwuanyanwu, a politician, statesman and
Chairman of the Champion Newspaper, created controversy after getting
married to a girl almost 50 years his junior and tied the proverbial
nuptial knot with 26-year-old Frances Chinonyerem Enwerem in a
traditional ceremony that took place in Owerri, Imo State, Capital. The
wedding comes two years after Iwuanyanwu, lost his wife Eudora
Iwuanyanwu, to cancer. Frances is reported to be the daughter of one of
Iwuanyanwu’s late wife’s close friends.
Trailing
behind Iwuanyanwu in this new marriage culture is Emeka Offor,
businessman and a contractor from Anambra State. Ofor reported to be in
his sixties secretly took another wife. He performed the traditional
rite for the marriage of a 24-year old girl as the fourth wife. The
ceremony took place at the residence of the father of the bride,
Alexander Okey Ufondu, at Umuezeopi in Oraifite, Ekwusigo Local
Government Area of Anambra State. The bride named Adaora lives with his
husband in the highbrow district of Maitama in Nigeria’s Federal
Capital Territory of Abuja.The wedding generated ripples in the
religious communities of Oraifite, the hometown of both Mr Offor and
his new father in law, Mr Ufondu, an Onitsha-based trader.
These
are the reasons why young women marry older men who are old enough to
be their Fathers age mates. Lailasblog.com spoke with Nigerians of
diverse persuasion and their responses are detailed below
- Onyanwe Aku Uche attributes it to poverty. According to the student of Abia State University, it’s money and status only.
Uche is of the view that such marriages lead to adultery and
promiscuousness because, he believes that the old men cannot be able to
sexually performed their bed responsibilities. According to him, no
marriage survives without sex even though they enjoy such marriages,
the girls are accused of pretending in such marriages. Nigerians
attacked such marriages with fierce criticism and sees such union as
immoral. “This is strictly for the money,Does she want to call it love?
Why will the children support such a marriage? Marriage counsels said
such marriages doesn’t last because the death of the man nullifies such
marriages and the young girl would now go and marry the young ones
they love with the late old man’s money.
- Oluokun Stephen stated that all the essence is for money, status and security. When there is money, women will marry anything inside trouser, It is obvious that such girls will be getting sex elsewhere.” This was never the case in the past.
- Anna Unachukwu: We unfortunately want to create a kind of
civilization that has no basis for rationality, And who told you that
old men cannot have sex? Is she complaining that her man cannot satisfy
her sexually? You forget that men’s urge for sex still lives with them
even when they are eighty but it is not the same for women when she
reaches menopause. Have you ever slept with an old man and found him
incompetent? Many ladies who married people not old enough to be their
fathers still go in the closet to use dildos and vibrators. Is your
understanding of marriage only based on sex.Where is companionship”?
- Sociologist, Chinedu Ukwu blamed the economy for such marriage. He
was of the view that if the nation’s economy should improve where the
girls could get job and take care of their rent, car loan, dressing,
feeding and other sundry things of life that most of the older men
would be rejected and insulted when they approach most of these girls
for marriage.
- Pope Toni Obinna added: Checks revealed that such girls are gold diggers who proceed to having affairs/ lovers with old men.
- Clare Okpala insists that it serves the old men right. She said
that such girls are on revenge mission to what some boys have done to
their older female lovers. She said that the young ladies perch on the
oldies for their money and would dump them when they have gotten what
they want. “Serves the older perverts right, for marrying women young
enough to be their daughters/ granddaughters”, she said.
- Nkechi Mpamugo explained that the girls made their choice and should be allowed to enjoy their life.
- Mrs Amaka Onyekwere disclosed that older men in marriage are
security. She said very huge chunk of them protect their young wives.
She revealed that older men are great in bed better than younger men.
There are reports that older men are more sensual and more sexually
aware.
- An anonymous commentator also said that why Young women marry older
men were because younger men are not ready to settle down and that those
who are ready were very few.
- A female student told us that she prefers older men because they are
the best people to marry. According to her, they are more mature and
know how to love.
- An Igbo lady confessed that she married a man 20years older than
her and that the man is strong on bed. “I’m married to a man 20yrs
older and yes! My man can jump o! I met him and he didn’t look his age.
He’s a very intelligent man and very rich too. His wealth is a plus
for me because I can’t train any man”, she added. “I don’t want a man
that will use my sweat to chase small girls”.
The anonymous Igbo
lady continued. “My middle name is Orie-aku not Odoziaku. I love my
husband. He is very handsome. When my kids were toddlers, he would
bath, change diapers, babysit and he plays soccer with our son every
evening and he takes a long walk with our son. I’m blessed”.
- To Funmi Ajanaku, young men don’t have respect for girls, she said
it takes time for young men to build themselves and for ladies to
continue waiting on them, they would get old and the men won’t marry
them at last. She accused the young ones of always wanting sex and the
girls’ money.
“A friend of mine is 25 and her husband is 55,
30yrs difference, she has everything she would ever need”.
- Another annonymous lady spoke of her personal experience and said
such union is fantastic if one gets his choice. “I am 27 and my husband
is 50. He was a widower who had lost his wife and kids in a ghastly
motor accident. Sex is still fantastic. I really don’t know how he does
it. He satisfies me because he is so energetic and passionate always
wanting to please me first”, she added. “He must make me come multiple
times before he comes. We have sex many times in the week, because he
can’t resist me”. According to her, the fact was that not all such
marriages succeed. She disclosed that not all such marriages are
contracted on money. She said some are really induced by true love. “I
am from a rich home, so money was not the motive. Before I met my
husband, I have been used by my two previous boyfriends. And I had
given up on love. But then my knight in shiny armour arrived. I feel in
love with him the first day I met him, but I was forming. And he kept
on chasing me. Finally I accepted and it’s been the best of three years
of my life”. She added. “Even the young ones I had before my husband
could not satisfy me, it was all about him. I try as much to not think
of the future and we live for now. We may not have that much time
together but whatever time God gives me to spend with my soul mate I
will make it worthwhile”.
- Susan Orji stated. “As for me, my hubby is 18yrs my senior and I
love it that way. Small boys come with so much stress. Right from my
teenage years, I knew I was not meant for small boys. I am 30, married
at age 24, my hubby treats me like egg, he loves me and over looks my
excesses. If I had married my mate or someone who is 2-5yrs older, I
guess maybe I would be back to my parents’ house by now”. “Older men
pamper their women, the women glow with pride. When you step out with
your older hubby, all eyes will be on you, women age fast and with an
older hubby you can’t be bothered”, she added. “Infact the man will
look younger for you. Days of starting from the scratch are fast
fading, God forbid, the man makes it to the top, you will be treated as
a second class citizen especially if you are the type that over loves
your hubby, it u die today, the man will quickly re-marry tomorrow.
It’s still small girls that will help you ‘chop’ your man’s money”.
- Another lady who declined his name also stated. I’m married to old
man of 21year different. I’m blessed with three kids. All I can tell
say is that I’m blessed.sex is great better than my former younger
boyfriend.
Reasons advanced by some female commentators are that there are
lots of advantages of marrying an older man. They disclosed that older
men are successful, mature, more stable in life, more responsible and
sexually experienced as well. According to the ladies, the older men
are less likely to stray and will have more time for their younger
women. Continuing, the ladies opined that the older men are less likely
to abuse their younger wives who are of the same age with their
daughters.
- Elsie Obatoke added “I am proud of my older husband. I am 29, he
is 48. I have never been happier. In my life no man wakes me up with
flowers, but my older hubby does that consistently for the past three
years. If I had known I wouldn’t have wasted time when he asked me to
marry him 6yrs ago. I was busy falling for foolish love for a younger
guy, fine boy, no money, aiming at sucking me dry. God I thank you that
I married my husband. he loves my kids so much, plays with them, helps
me change diapers, sometimes i don’t even do anything in the house, he
helps me clean, cook and take care of the kids when I am tired. We are
talking of a multi millionaire here. Even with his status, he has time
for his family, he listens to me, teaches me things, very patient with
my excesses, best of all, he prays for me and the kids every day”, .
- Another lady who claimed to be a student said money is not enough
for her to marry her ‘Papa’ as she puts it. According to her, its
scarcity of husband that causes such husband. “My advice for single
ladies; if you pass 30yrs please, take any one you see, the idea is to
born children. The rates of infertility problems are alarming”, she
disclosed further.
“I think for women so inclined; it’s because older (responsible men)
have seen it all, made their mistakes and learnt from them and they know
how to care for a woman. As for famous older men, women are very
attracted to power. That said it has its down sides, when the men cannot
meet up in some department due to illness or natural ageing process”.
Now guys, there you have it.
WOULD YOU WANNA MARRY A RICH OLD MAN WHO LOVES AND PAMPERS YOU SILLY OR A YOUNG HUSTLER?
the ball is on your cut
PS: Forgive the lengthy epistle
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