No harmattan, no dollar to order Christmas shoes from ASOS but the
following things will certainly remind you that today is Christmas Day,
in case the date is not enough.
1. One million ‘Merry Christmas’ broadcasts will blow up your phone
It’s in the spirit of the season.
2. All the malls and cinemas will be full of fun seekers
Whether you’re buying big or not
What is this recession you all are talking about?
3. Most of them will be wearing these ugly hats
‘Tis the season for red hats indeed
4. TV stations will interview market women and transporters who will complain of low patronage
5. The President and Governor will release a statement and ask Nigerians to celebrate with sober reflection
6. NEPA will receive extra curses today because they will surely take light
Charms for the not so charming fellas at the power company
Continue being unfortunate.
7. ATM’s will collect theirs too because cash will surely finish
That’s the feeling after you’ve queued for 30 minutes and hear ‘It’s no more dispensing’
It’s going to be a very long weekend.
8. But the jollof rice and chicken is a constant
It’s somewhere in our constitution.
9. Snapchat and Instagram will hear it today
10. Then you too will compose a Christmas message and send it to everyone on your phone